Unicorn Born

A couple days ago my other neighbor, a cat lady who lives under the bridge, ran into me at the sub shop. She asked me if I could house sit for her and look after her cats.


I'm pretty sure that's what she said, anyway. I don't speak cat very well. I told her I'd do it if she paid for my sandwich. A few minutes later the sub shop lady chased us both out with a mop. Apparently the story lady doesn't take cat hair as currency. I'll pay her in unicorn lovin' later on.

So I've been looking after this lady's house for a while, but she hasn't come back. It's hard to watch after them all because her doors don't lock, or even close. Can anyone in the area help me out?

I don't know what cats eat. They seem to like my flesh, but I need that.

Let me know if you can take these cats. If cat lady doesn't show up in another day, you can have them. I know she probably wants to eat them herself, but there's no use in them going to waste. I don't know what cats taste like, but I know they probably won't be fresh much longer out of the refrigerator, so please respond quickly.